Taking Space

I said something today that was honest and amazing and hit me like a ton of bricks. It is still simmering in my brain a few hours later, pacing in my mind like a detective toiling with a hunch that will soon overtake him in a breathtaking moment of realization.

Over the phone, through a lull in conversation, I said, “Since I’m here [London], without a job, working on freelance in my spare time, I feel like I can really take this time to learn how to be a better friend.” It feels uplifting. Like I’m finally giving myself the permission to spend time on relationships that always had to come second to my list of shit to do.

In response, I was asked, “Well, do you know if you’ll be able to maintain those new, deeper relationships once you’ve gone back to work?” Genuinely a good question. And for the life of me, I don’t know how my response came so effortlessly.

“I don’t know, but I will know what they mean to me, and what I’m willing to sacrifice going forward.”

Now, I must address something: this conversation is not the stuff of legend. Nor do I think this epiphany is awe inspiring to most people. But it is absolutely sensational to me! I am not normally this emotionally intelligent, I promise you. But having this realization, being able to communicate it and having the time to reflect on it is an intensely cool thing to come out of a “reckless” holiday in London.

It’s the little things.

Cheers,

e